Extraordinary Rendezvous
The memorial park, like the usual days, is silent. The breeze of the wind is the only thing that one can hear. The aura of the place would either give you the creeps or the solemnity that you sought to find. Every day, there would always be someone who would come, sit in one of the lots, light a candle and start talking their hearts out. Real life drama is usually seen here, the genuine tears of sadness and grief. The over exaggerated cries of anguish or probably relief. The reunion of families who were drifted apart by reasons unknown to others. And the blank stares filled with undeciphered emotions. The place was the end of every hope and dreams of being together with the person. It’s a resting place, the final rendezvous…
***
The cemetery was the sole place where Joy could think properly. It’s the only place she chose to unwind…beside her boyfriend’s grave. It has been what? Four years? They were almost graduating in high school when the Creator asked for Allan’s life back. Her world stopped for so long. Allan was everything to her. He was a best friend, a brother, a boyfriend… he was her soul mate.
He was everything that she wanted, except for one thing, he loved adventure… too much that he usually put his life at risk. He would try everything new… and the drag race came.
They fought over it several times. He promised her that he would never do it… again… and again… and again… Only to find out that he would sneak out in the wee hours of the morning to indulge himself in his so- called adventures.
It was her birthday. She was waiting for his call; he usually calls her when the clock strikes twelve. But sunrise came and there was no call. She didn’t sleep the whole night; her body seemed too agitated to do so. She was nervous and was having palpitations.
That morning, the news shocked her; Allan was rushed into the hospital.
It was dreadful. His whole body was covered with bruises and wounds. Not only that, he also suffered internal injuries. Most of his vital organs were damaged. Since no blood was available to match his, the doctors had his aunt signed consent for an autotransfusion. His own blood is to re-infuse to him!!!
She was anesthetized in disbelief. All that she could manage was to close her eyes and pray. There were problems during the operations that the doctors decided that they should rush him to the ICU. Three days of no sleep, she was there, beside him… and heard him breathe his last…
***
Luke was having ambivalent emotions. He was happy that finally his mom would never go through the whole painful process again at the same time, he felt sad because he knew, the moment he arrived home, it would be empty.
His mom was suffering from breast cancer for almost seven years. She had even given up both her breast in the faith that it would slow down the disease. It did. The sacrifice she made gave their family two more memorable years together.
They love her dearly, that is why her father usually takes his time off and spends it with them. On the other hand, his two sisters working abroad went home to spend the last few months with their mom. He was glad that his mom died peacefully, she has taught them well that would have the three of them equipped for their future battles in life.
Nevertheless, he could not deny the fact that he lost his mother. There was no one he could turn to in times of dilemma. Every day for two weeks, he was there. Talking to his mom as if she is listening intently and would comment on what he is talking about.
“Ma…” he started. “Did you know that…”
***
“You’re crying again…” Joy heard a voice from behind. She gasped in horror thinking that one of the residents was talking to her. When she turned around, she saw a boy, probably in her age group, standing five graves away from her. “Every time you come here, you always cry… your folk must be drowning down there of your tears…” he added.
She wiped her tears fast and threw the guy a sharp look. How dare he talk to her like that?, “Do I know you?” she questioned, her voice filled with maximum sarcasm.
The boy grinned, “Not yet,” he answered. Then he walked towards her, “I’m Luke” he offered his hands.
Joy stared at his palm, and then at him unbelievably, “Did you hear me ask for your name?”
Instead of her expected frustration, he remained cool and composed, “No, I believe you did not… so rather than wasting your effort asking…” he stopped and winked at her, “I took the initiative of giving you my name…”
Her tongue touched her molars unconsciously — an actuation signaling that she was losing patience. Help me, Allan… she plead silently.
“Would it be too much if I asked your name?” he continued.
“Spell ASA?” she turned her back and marched out of the cemetery. Damn the guy! She even forgot to say goodbye to Allan.
***
Luke can’t stop grinning. Did you see her, Ma? She’s beautiful wasn’t she? He had been eyeing her since last week. Every time he was here, which was almost every day, he could see her bicycle parking somewhere near that lot, and he would see her shed tears . Curiosity killed the cat, they say… but he was no cat. So what he did was he went on that lot when she left… wondering if the person had been dead just this year… to his surprise… the person died almost four years ago. She was still mourning? Ma, you think it’s normal? He looked at his mom’s grave and sighed. And you call talking to your mom normal? He added sardonically.
He cried when his mom died, he didn’t promise it to her. Crying, he knew was never a sign of weakness. However, come to think of it, even if how many pails of tears he will shed, it would never bring his mom back to him. What he promised her, that he’d be strong and he won’t grieve long. After all, his mom will never leave him. She will still be there guarding him, making sure that he’s a good boy.
I’m a good boy, am I mom? He laughed in a low voice; I stopped her from crying, made her angry instead. Way to go, Luke!
***
Joy slammed her bedroom door. She has never been this furious her entire life. No one had made fun of her like the way Luke did. Hey! You remembered his name. She closed her eyes in frustration. Deep breaths… inhale… exhale… inhale…
She went as early as five thirty in the morning because she heard her dad packing his clothes — again. After her dad’s car took off, she changed her pajamas and went to the cemetery.
Allan has always been there for her. She found comfort in his presence. Funny, but every time she’s in his lot, she could feel him. She talks, as if he was just there sitting with her, listening to her whims like he normally does. She cries, as if he was there, hugging her tightly and assuring her that everything is going to be just fine.
And how will everything turn out to be fine when she knew the moment she arrived home, no one is there to welcome her. Just her nanny. Her mom died giving birth to her, while her dad was busy. Perhaps that’s why she wasn’t done mourning… because four years ago, when Allan died… he took not only her heart with him, but her whole being. Allan was the only person (besides her nanny) who cared about her. Four years. Has it been that long? I missed you Allan… so much…
***
Luke was waiting for her to come. Ma, before you say anything, I’m here, primarily, to visit you… promise… and to… well… to see her…
He didn’t know what hit him yesterday but it didn’t make him sleep the whole night. He was smiling and grinning like a lunatic. He can’t help it. His feeling, whatever it was made him euphoric.
At last, she came, riding on her bicycle. When she parked it under the mango tree, he touched his mom’s niche and whispered, “For a while, ma… wish me luck…”
***
As usual, it was as unproductive as Luke expected. She hated him like he was the worst person on earth. Well, at least she didn’t avoid him like a plague. She was still going everyday on Allan’s grave — that’s the name on the niche she was visiting.
Only these past few days, she wasn’t crying anymore. Her eyes were showing sadness, but when they “talk”, despite the anger that her pretty face was showing, there was this tinge of loneliness that he could see in her eyes.
Perchance, like he was, she was getting accustomed to their unusual “talks.” It was a habitual, every time he approached her, they would start arguing. It started with him asking for her name. Until now, a month later, he still didn’t catch her name. So, he was calling her Asa — the one she let him spelled— instead.
***
“You’re smiling again, Joy…” her nanny’s voice seemed to wake her up.
“Huh?”
The woman smiled and placed her glass of orange juice in the table, “You’re eyes are glowing again, dear… It has been —-.” Her nanny stopped whatever she was about to say when she noticed her silence and change of mood. “I’d be in the kitchen if you need me…” she nodded in acknowledgement.
Her nanny had always known her. She needed not to say anything for the old woman to know what she felt. She told her that her eyes were glowing. Was it really?
She was smiling a while ago because she remembered the last time she and Luke “talked” — as he would refer their arguments. He kept on calling her Asa because she wouldn’t tell him her name. For the longest time since Allan was buried…one month … one whole month that her lacrimal glands didn’t excrete any tears.
But guilt rushed through her veins when she felt a cold breeze brushed her skin. Allan?…Am I betraying you?…
***
Rain was pouring since she arrived. Joy’s dress was completely soaking wet and her lips were trembling in coldness. She was sitting in the grass, trying to ease the tension that she was having but couldn’t help it. Her eyes were sore from crying since this morning, and her lungs were almost desperate in catching air. Her dad promised her he’d be arriving; she didn’t get enough sleep because she wanted to prepare all the food that she was going to cook for her birthday.
To her dismay, just before sunrise, her dad called her and told her he wasn’t coming home. He had an emergency meeting. “We’ll just reheat what you have cooked tomorrow.” For her dad, it was just as simple as that. Today’s her birthday, not tomorrow.
Sing me happy birthday, Allan… she begged desperately. She was too upset to celebrate. She looked around, hoping Luke was there. When she saw no one, she decided to go home and sleep until the day passed.
A little later, she slowly stood up, her vision blurred and literally, she collapsed.
***
Joy woke up inside a room, wearing someone else’s shirt. Her head was throbbing with pain. Where is she?!
She was about to get out of bed when the door opened, Luke entered carrying a tray of food. “What am I doing here? What am I doing in your shirt?!” she demanded. He smiled at her, and instantly her heart did a somersault, what is happening to you, Joy?
He placed the tray on his study table and faced her, ”It would be best if you would thank me first…”
She raised her brows, “Luke?!” she warned. Her voice was demanding for an immediate explanation that didn’t seem to bother the guy.
He laughed at her, “Thanks to me, your pretty little head is still intact until now…”
She shook her head in disbelief, “But you weren’t there!”
Luke stopped grinning then she saw that familiar naughtiness in his eyes, “You looked out for me, didn’t you?” he asked her. “You missed me, eh?”
Joy didn’t answer his questions. He was there. Why didn’t she saw him? Did she arrive just on time that she lost her consciousness? She tried to find another topic when she remembered her unanswered questions a while ago, “What am I doing inside your room and in your shirt?”
“You’re here, Asa because I don’t know where you live, you were burning with fever, and your clothes were wet…” he looked at her and smirked, “For the record, it was my sister who changed your clothes and did the sponge bath. Not me. They won’t let me in my room. So I have to sleep on the couch outside. And that shirt you’re wearing is not mine…” his brows went up and down a couple of times then he continued, “I should’ve known you want to wear my shirt instead…I’ll get you one?” Luke offered generously.
Joy was shaking her head the whole time he was explaining and tried suppressing her laugh but failed terribly. By the end of his statement, she was laughing. However, she immediately stopped, seeing him looking at her intently. “Is there anything wrong?” she asked.
“No… It’s just that this… this is the first time I saw you laugh your heart out…” he told her dramatically. Then his naughty smile was visible again, “I cooked you breakfast. Don’t worry. I didn’t put a love potion or a poison in it…I’m too lovable to do such desperate craps…” he made his way to the door but before he could take another step, she called his name. He once again faced her, “It’s Joy.” She spilled.
“It’s Joy.” She spilled.
“The one that you make me feel every time I see you?” he asked.
Joy laughed softly and shook her head, “My name…”
“Oh…” he winked at her and closed the door.
***
Luke brought her home that afternoon. He and his sisters made sure that she was totally fine before deciding to do so. Joy was overwhelmed with attention. It was a loss that she didn’t have the chance to meet their dad. She was almost sure that he was as thoughtful as his children.
She called her nanny after breakfast. Her dad was home… he came home yesterday at lunchtime and was worried sick about her. She cried over the phone and promised her dad that she’d be back as soon as possible. Her dad told her that he took a week off and booked a vacation spree in Palawan.
When his car parked in front of their gate, Joy took the initiative of speaking first, “Do you want to ask why I was there?”
“You are always there…” he simply answered.
She was amazed how Luke could manage to act according to what the situation calls for. Like right now, there was no hint of gag in his voice, plain serious. It was the first time he used that tone of voice on her, “It was my birthday yesterday… Dad promised me he’d come but he broke his word again…” she explained. Joy was staring straight ahead, on the empty street, “It was the day when Allan… when Allan had the accident…” she recalled painfully.
She told him how lonely she felt yesterday and how she wished that Allan would take her with him. No one had been there for her since Allan left. No one had understood what she really felt. No one had given her light in her darkest moments.
Luke held her hand firmly, “I, too, lost someone I loved Joy… I know how it feels… how empty the space that the person left in your heart… the realization that I will never see my mom again was a big bombed exploding right before my very eyes…it will never be the same again…” he told her. He put his arm around her shoulders and pull her close enough for comfort, “But you see, Joy… we’re still alive… they’re not… we have to live life — no matter how painful, unfair or ironic it is… my mom wouldn’t want me to cry until my eyes were too puffy… Seeing you weeping all the time would never rest his soul in peace…It’s time to move on, Joy… You’ve been grieving long enough.” Then he whispered in her ears, “Don’t worry, if you need me… I’d always be here…”
Joy closed her eyes and sighed. Weird, but the sense of security she was feeling was sufficient to make her feel okay. “You know what?” she asked in a low voice looking into his eyes, “I never thought you could be this serious…”
He beamed, “So…you want to get to know me more then?”
Once again, she laughed, pushed him away smoothly, kissed him fast on the cheeks, “Maybe…”
***
Luke knew Joy would be gone for a week; her father was taking her to Palawan. He missed her a lot. A week of no communication was misery itself. On the other hand, he was happy for her. It was a dream came true.
Now, it’s time to make his dream come true as well.
He was here again, on the place where goose bump meets solemnity — the cemetery… their unofficial meeting place…. An extraordinary rendezvous.
He was standing not in front of his mom’s but in front of Allan’s niche. He sat down, lit a candle, did several deep breathing and started talking, “Um… I’m Luke… you must’ve noticed me several times talking to Joy… well… I… I just want to ask permission if… if I… umm… I… could…if I could court Joy…” he was staring at the niche, as if really talking to Allan, closed his eyes once in a while, trying to find the words he wanted to say. “Promise…” he clasped his hands together and bowed his head a little bit, “I’ll try to make her smile all the time… to make her laugh…I will not do anything to intentionally hurt her… I will take care of her the way you did or even better… I… I love her, Allan…” At last he spoke everything he wanted Allan to know. It has been weeks since he started debating with himself if it was really love or something else. He was about to say something when he heard a soft laugh,
“You’re talking to Allan?” she asked.
Luke gazed as she was approaching, he couldn’t believe that he was here already. In the flesh! “Wow…” was all that he could utter, “You look…” where are you adjectives??!!!
“Pretty?” she supplied him with the lost adjectives, he nodded, Joy grinned, “I know…”
He was dumb-founded. Perhaps caught off-guard by her arrival he couldn’t find the words to say.
“I missed you…” he heard her whispered.
“Huh?” was she talking to him or Allan?
“I missed you, Luke…” she chuckled, “What were you telling Allan?”
“Um… I… I…” he was stuttering!
She grinned even more at him, then touched Allan’s niche, “Did he pass Allan? Do you think he won’t make me cry?”
Luke’s face turned pale, he heard him? Everything that he said? She was almost laughing at him. Nevertheless, the thought made him feel more okay rather than humiliated. The Joy that is sitting beside him was different from the Joy that left last week. Her aura radiated happiness, and contentment. Finally, he could tell that she had moved on with life…
She looked at him seriously this time and threw him the question, “Now why don’t you tell me what you told Allan… I’d be glad to hear the whole speech…”
“Well…” he pouted his lips, put his forefinger on his temples as if he was thinking to spill it out or not, “What do I get in return?”
“My heart…”
“Fair enough… Well… I told him that…”
***
Joy heard him loud and clear. He was too busy asking permission while she was busy staring at him and listening to what he was saying. She knew in her heart that she wouldn’t regret the decision that she’s going to make. Luke had taught her how to live life… she loved Allan, but he’s gone now… She’s sure that Allan wanted her to find the happiness that was once lost. Well, she already found it and it spelled… L-U-K- E.
Blue Print
And there she goes. After two years, the girl he loved is walking away from him, out of his life. Jeff could feel his lids were getting heavier every second but he just knew he must not cry. Strongly, he held up all those emotions that raged in his veins causing his tears to draw back rather than fall. Just moments ago, he felt numb, and just now, he wished he still were.
“Nga-a haw?” his voice was cracked.
The girl turned away from him, “Basta lang.” was all that she could say.
However, he could not digest reality, “May ara gid na ya!” he insisted, there has to be a reason, there must be something wrong! “Hambala lang ako kung ano ang sala. Pwede mo man na guro mahambal sa akun sang diretso ah.”
Then she turned to face him, her eyes filled with sorrow and tension, “Inde ta na ka palangga.”
BLAG.
His body froze. He could feel his tongue tied and his mind went blank. No words came out from his mouth, he just stared at her. Jeff does not know what to say or ask. Would he question the reason why and wound his heart more? Ask her if she loves another and let himself die? Or beg her to stay and imprisoning her in a dark sarcophagus of his selfishness?
He was silent for a few moments, unable to move, the girl turned to him yelling, “Inde ako paghipusi, Jeff! Akig ka, di bala? Hambal ka man bi! Pangakig ka!” she fretted.
But Jeff stood still, watching her every move, no words would register in his hypothalamus. All he knew, all that he could ever think about, this girl would not be his anymore. “Mapunggan ta ka bala?” at last he said, “Kung maghambal ko nga inde ta ka gusto madula, mapapugong ka?” he asked softly, unable to prevent a touch of sarcasm in his voice.
“Inde.”
“Ti wala na ako may mahimo.”
That night, his whole room mourned with him. He was unusually silent. The room was tensioned as he was. Jeff slowly turned to his drawing table, smiled sadly at the blue print he just started to do this morning…
“Maubra pa ko tani. Galing wala na man may maistar sa imo.” He said running his hands on the paper.
His heartache broke his life in puzzle but it taught him how to bring the puzzle back together and the significance of each pieces. He learned not to be bitter and it was okay to hurt a bit. Jeff concentrated on his studies, he had an unmatched performance in his course, both in designs and in theory. But still, there was something lacking.
“Excuse me, masara na kami.”
He lifted his head from the book he’s reading and stared at the girl in front of him.
“Abi ko alas-otso pa ya gasara ang library.” He said impatiently, he was in the middle a research work.
“Sa idalom to ya, inde dire.” The girl answered firmly. He got her patience.
“Ti pwede madala ang libro sa dalom?”
“Hulma.”
An idea filled his mind, the girl was irritated; he wanted to know why. Maybe she wanted to go home early or she just hated his guts, “Wala ako library card.”
“Ti paano ka di kasulod?” she started to group the books on each table.
“RF. Ano ngalan mo, Miss?”
She raised a brow saying, “Mahal akun ngalan. Wala ko ginabaligya bisan kay sin-o.”
He smiled, “May duha ko di kalibo sa wallet ko.”
She stared at him unbelievably, she cursed him in a low voice and left. She made her way outside where Gilbert, an engineering student who was also his friend was seated. He saw her laughed with him. Then pointed him to Gilbert. In a matter of minutes, his friend is already walking towards him.
“Pre!” he called.
Jeff beamed, “Duty mo?”
“Oo.” Gilbert answered, “Abi tama na ina. Maalam ka na, pakuging ka man gihapon sa library, mapuli na nga daan si Denise.”
“Denise gali ngalan ya?” he immediately gathered his things before bidding his friend goodbye, he turned to him saying, “Ano na course ya man? Sugid na lang kay mapuli na ko.”
Gilbert shook his head in amusement, “Accountancy.”
He hurried outside the circulation section where Denise was sitting, busy calculating library stuffs. “Denise gali ngalan mo? Nakuha ko libre. Tapus may free pa, accountancy.” He flashed his most irresistible smile, “Ako gali si Jeff.” And offered hi s hands.
Denise did nothing but looked at it and he felt himself blushed. He was a bit humiliated. He held back his hand and stared at her, “Wala gid ako bala gapangaon tawo.”
That incident brought him back to the library every now and then, reading books he read before, searching for things he already knew and seeing the girl who brought something familiar to his heart’s domain. But no matter how he tried to get close to her, he just could not. Denise already built an invisible barrier between them. Nevertheless, he never gave up. He wanted something to happen, he hated wasting his time doing nothing. So, he asked someone whom he knew would have the power to persuade the girl.
“Denise, lakat di bala anay.” Sir William called, he was one of her major subjects professors. And Jeff was behind him looking at her innocently.
She wanted to run, yet she stopped herself. Denise already knew what would happen next, “Ano to sir?”
“May ipakilala ko sa imo.” He took Jeff by the shoulder and introduced them. Jeff once more offered his hand. She wanted to glare at him for dragging her into this kind of scene. “Ti, indi mo gid pagbatunon ang kamot niya, Denise?” the professor teased. This time, it was her who turned crimson red. She cannot do anything but to accept his hand and smile.
This unusual incident started a friendship that was bound for love. Both of them didn’t know how it happened. One day, he was waiting there outside the library, the next, he was at the doorstep of her last class at the New Valentines Building; the next, they were eating at the student’s union building; the next, he was holding her hand as they walk through the half-moon drive going home. No words were spoken, it just happened.
Jeff was sitting in his drawing table when he felt Denise hands encircle his waist.
“Tapos na exams, ano naman ina?” she asked, resting her head on his shoulders.
“Future house ta ah.”
He saw how her face stiffened and how it turned pale, the hands that were around his waist dropped. She moved away from him.
“Nga-a Denise haw? inde mo gusto?” he asked softly. He stood up and reached for her, “Makahimo ko ya sang pinakanami nga blue print kag makapatindog sang manami nga balay para sa imo.”
Denise smiled sadly, “Bal-an ko, Jeff. Nami ka gid man maghimo ya. Pero…” she was about to say something but then she decided to seal her mouth, “Mapuli na ko.”
Jeff knew there was a problem, but looking deep in her eyes, he knew she would not want to discuss anything right now. Things were quite blur as they head on the doorstep. Denise does not want him to take her home, but he insisted.
“Gusto ko tani mabal-an kung malain ang ginhimo ko. Pero daw inde mo man gusto istoryahan subong.” He cupped her face, and when he was about to kiss her, she turned away saying, “Sige na Jeff, gab-I na. Puli ka na.” She went inside.
He was dumbfounded alone there. He sat outside the door wanting to knock, and ask her what was wrong. Was it the design? The room? Him? Nevertheless, he convinced himself to go home. He knew things could be complicated if he insisted.
Denise pressed her back on the door, she waited for him to go. Would she ever tell Jeff nothing is going to last forever? Tomorrow marks the first day of her leave of absence in the university. No one knew about it, just she, her mom and Gilbert. No one needs to know. She is not sure if it is temporary or permanent.
An hour. Two hours. Three hours. Four hours. 8:00 p.m.
Jeff gaped at his wristwatch, where the hell was Denise? He went to her last class but she was not there. So he thought of the library, but he couldn’t get a glimpse of her shadow.
“Pre, masara na ang library.” Gilbert reminded him.
He collected his things and asked, “Si Denise?”
Gilbert’s eyes juggled, could not look straight at him when he replied, “Wala ko kabalo.”
“Sugat ko siya kagina, wala siya kuno hambal ni tita.”
Gilbert’s shoulder shrugged, “Wala gid ko ya kabalo, Jeff. Puli na lang to pre. Basi may ginlaktan lang si Tata.” Jeff wanted to beg. He knew that Gilbert knew where she was but decided not to tell him. He has no choice but to go home and pray that tomorrow he will see her,
A day. Two days. Three days. Four days. Five days. A week.
He was restless, terribly distressed, no one has seen Denise these past few days. Her mom always told him she was busy with school works but none of her classmates knew where Denise was. He was worried. He wanted to find her. Would he find someone who’s hiding and doesn’t want to be found?
“Gilbert!” he called. Both of them were walking by the half-moon drive. Gilbert didn’t probably hear him, so he ran after, “Gilbert, bal-an ko nga bal-an mo kung diin si Denise. Lihog lang bi itudlo man sa akon.” He asked, almost pleading. “Gusto ko lang siya makita. Kung inde na gid man siya sa akon, gusto ko ya siya mahambal wala na sang iban.” He could curse himself for being so melodramatic, but then it was no skit, he was near to tears.
Gilbert looked at him with a heavy heart, “Nagpromisa ako, Jeff.”
“Bal-an ko. Bisan subong lang gid nga adlaw.”
“Sigurado ka gid ya nga gusto mo siya makita?” Gilbert made sure.
When Jeff nodded, he led the way.
They stopped at St. Paul’s Hospital. Gilbert led him to one of the private rooms. Jeff’s heart wobbled, he wanted to ask questions, tons of it. Yet, he chose to shut his mouth and follow silently. Stopping by the doorstep, Gilbert kissed Denise’s mother who was gripping to the rosary beads.
“Ano natabo, Gilbert?” Jeff demanded. He could not control himself a second longer with all these tension.
But he did not answer. He just told him that he should be quiet and come inside the room. Jeff’s heart was pounding too hard; it wanted to slip outside his body. He was too scared. He wanted this though. He wanted to see Denise, to hold her, tell her how much he loves her.
“Na-diagnose siya nga may leukemia last year. Daw terminal naman to gani. Hambal sang doctor, mga six months na lang siya kuno. Ginahambalan na siya namun nga mauntat eskwela kag mapa -chemo, pero inde niya gusto. Mas gadasig lang na kuno kabuhi niya. Give-up na siya to tani mo. Galing nag-abot ka. Ginpadugay mo kabuhi niya. Subong, ari siya, gapachemo, basi pa lang may tsansa nga palawigon iya kabuhi.”
Gilbert left him there alone. He wondered where he found the strength to move him feet to the visitor chair next to the bed. Jeff sat and held Denise’s cold hands on his palm, kissing it softly. He did not know what to say. He just wanted to be there.
“Jeff.” Denise muttered without opening her eyes.
“Paano mo nabal-an nga ako?” he tried to put some humor in his voice, pretending that nothing is wrong, “Inde mo na ako pagpanaguan ha?”
“Bal-an ko na perfume mo eh. Aww ah, inde gid ya masaligan si Gilbert.” Denise laughed gently, “Ginsugid ya gid ya sekreto ko sa imo.”
“Nahidlaw ko sa imo, Denise.”
Her smile disappeared and she looked at him seriously, “Inde ta ka ya gusto paasahon. Bal-an ko nga wala na gid ako sang chance…”
“Ari lang ako di, Denise. Inde lang ako pagpilita nga bayaan ka kay amo na ang inde ko mahimo.” He kissed her forehead and lulled her back to sleep.
Jeff did as what he had promised. He was always there. After class, he would go to the library, borrow books or photocopy what he needed and go directly to the hospital. He accompanied and gave her the courage during her chemo sessions. He knew there was almost no chance of survival. He just wanted to have her for a matter of time.
“Busy gid, Jeff?” He opened a blue print paper in front of her, “Tan-awa bala.” He said with pride.
Denise excitedly followed but when she realized what she was holding in her hands, she rolled and gave it back to Jeff.
“Inde mo gusto? Inde manami?” he asked worriedly.
She shook her head, “Inde na para sa akon.” She smiled sadly.
“Ti ano gusto mo, hambali ko bi.” He dared.
Denise pulled him close and gave him a smack on the lips, “Blue print sang mausoleum, ang akon nga mausoleum.” His arms around her lost its grip. He just could not believe what he heard from her. He drew her home, a beautiful home, his masterpiece, but she wanted a mausoleum. She was already asking a place for her corpse.
“Dira man ako gihapon makadto. Bisan ano himuon ko. Sooner or later mapatay ako!”
“Inde lang anay subong!” Jeff said almost desperately.
Denise looked at him bitterly, “Inde mo na mahambal, Jeff. Please do it for me na lang. amo na lang na ang ihatag.” She held him close once more, “Nami-on mo ha?”
The room was empty. Papers were scattered all over the floor. Déjà vu he must admit, but this time, it is much, much more painful and excruciating. Although he was not a smoker, he wanted to smoke badly; tension was choking him. His hands were idle. He could not move them to start working. Yet, he pushed himself to start. When his hands were forced to hold a pen and draw, it trembled and tears fell down his cheeks.
He was supposed to make a house for her, but instead, she asked for something that she knew was her destiny. Jeff wanted to hide her from God’s eyes, so that He would not take her away from him. It was destiny that bound them together, yet it is destiny that would take her away from him, leaving him in misery.
Jeff watched her sleep. He didn’t want to think about anything now. All Jeff did was stare at her. He didn’t want to think about anything now. He wanted to touch her, held her tiny face on his hands, but he just could not move, he was too afraid, that even in a blink of an eye, this girl would vanish.
“Uyy… ano natulok mo?” Denise asked when she caught him looking intently at her, “Dal-a man ko bi sa may bintana.” She pleaded weakly. He immediately obliged, pushed her wheelchair near the wi ndow, “Natapos mo na?” He nodded and gave her the blue print, “Matapos ni siya ayhan before???”
“Denise!” he warned, “Inde ka gid maghambal sang amo sina.”
Instead, she laughed, “Kapila ta na ka hambalan nga inde mo gid na ya mapaktan.” She folded the blue print, faced him and whispered, “Can you hug me?”
Again, he did what she wanted, he embraced her tightly but careful not to suffocate her, “Palangga- palangga ta gid ka bala, Denise.”
She replied, “Bal-an ko. Pero inde ako ang para sa imo. Someone is still there, inde ka lang matak-an nga pangitaon siya.”
“Bayaan mo na gid ko haw?”
“Nah!” she told him, “I’ll be your angel.” Denise turned to him, stood up weakly, dismissing his hands and place her arms on his shoulders, “Wala ka lang kabalo kung ano ta ka kapalangga. Tungod sa imo, gusto ko pa palawigon akon kabuhi. Bisan bal-an ko nga inde pwede.” Then before he could respond to her revelations, her lips covered his mouth. Kissing him like it was the last thing she could ever give him before leaving.
Then, she asked him to lay her down the bed because she was already exhausted, “Inde mo ko pagbayaan ha?” It was Denise’s last words before she drifted off to her eternal sleep.
After 3 months, he was standing in front of his masterpiece, it was finished. Again, there she goes, after months of fighting leukemia, the girl he truly loved is walking away again, to the arms of the creator, but not out of his life. She is his angel. Somebody may have his heart again in the future, but half is buried with Denise, right here, in her mausoleum.
Nine Years After…
He smiled when he opened the curtain, Sunrise… he said to himself. He looked at it with much affection and said, Denise I found her… the one that you told me about. I know she could make me happy. She could bring me the same smile you did way back. Thank you for coming into my life. Someday we’ll meet again. Then he felt someone behind his back, “Let’s go back to bed, Jeff.”
FB among other things
Lately, I have been trying to start a story… but the endless duty hours and stress regarding my MA. Maybe that is why I could not think of anything to write. Love story or no love story. Even at FB – i could not surf the website anymore, although i could still play,. ehehe. i So wish my writer’s block would lift. I have some dialogues running in my brains.. How I wish I could write a new story again ^^
OR, OR, OR
Yep. Operating room. I got myself assigned in the most sterile area inside the hospital. I wished to be assigned in the hemodialysis unit and be a kidney nurse but then they’re were too many requirements that i was too reluctant too comply (in short, it will require me of money, a lot of money).
So I picked my second choice, the operating room. Not just because its clean but when I was a student nurse, my clinical instructor inside the operating room was so good that she inspired me to try this fielld/. And I thought it was easy. There were too many instruments to memorize and too strict sterile techniques to adhere…. 
In My Life Review
A movie by Olive Lamasan starring the Philippine’s Star for All Season Ms. Vilma Santos, Luis Manzano and John Lloyd Cruz — all casted so differently from their usual stints.
It is funny, tearjerking, and heartwarming movie that will fill your hearts with so much emotion.
One of my favorite scenes was not with John Lloyd and Luis (although they sure make a good couple). It was with Dimples Romana, Tirso Cruz III, an Vilma Santos when they were sort of reminiscing the past and just laughing at it although it must’ve caused so much pain back then. It was the time when Shirley (Vilma’s character)
It’s not you It’s me by Allison Rushby
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This book got my attention because its title is one of my most favorite cliche` ever!!! Don’t you think so? I heard that somewhere before.. but i forgot from who.
anyway, an interesting love story – yes not the typical one. A bit of laugh here and there. I thought it was boring because it’s in the 1st person… but i was wrong. i enjoyed the whole book and i guess those crazy hopeless romantic would love this t00.
Coraline by Niel Gaiman
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I didn’t buy the book because it was very expensive. Instead, I sat down at Fully Booked Serendra, forgot lunch and read it for whole 2 hours.
I didn’t like the cover because it gave me the creeps, so this was suppose to be the new brand of children’s books? A fascinating dark fairytale for teens. A sort of kid-friendly horror-tale — the movie is even greater!!! A story of courage, wit and guts shown by a child. It is one of the most different books I have read. The author weaved the story perfectly, creating a clear scenario of events and leaving anticipation to readers of what will happen next..
A brand new version of Alice in wonderland, it reminded me a lot of the girl whofollowed the rabbit. (Was it really one?) Anyway, Coraline’s journey started when she found a door in the drawing room leading nowhere since it was all bricked up. The next day, when she returned to open it with a key, it led to an apartment to her “OTHER PARENTS” who looked exactly like her parents only that their eyes were made of buttons. She was asked to stay, showered with attention and gifts unlike her real parents who never seem to have time for her. But when she returned home, she found out that her real parents were missing…
Etiquette for Mistresses and what wives can learn from them by Julie Y. Daza
Filed under: book review | Tags: book review, etiquette for mistresses, filipino author, julie y. daza, review
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‘a wife is never as alluring as a mistress. A mistress is never as exciting as a secret lover. And a secret lover can never excite the passions as much as the maddeningly inaccesible woman’ – ancient Chinese Proverb
Never believe, and never say anything unfriendly about his wife, not evem after he recites a litany of her faultsVeronika Decides to Die by Paolo Coehlo
Coelho according to a friend has been one of those boring authors. I beg to differ; he’s one of the best I ever read. His works are a little bit eccentric which makes me think for a while before interpreting what he really meant.
Anyway, this is one of his books that I was eager to read. Finally, I have it in hand. The moment I read this, I remembered the time when we were on duty in one of the mental institutions. The author’s perspective was almost precise which made me realize that the thoughts of the insane are almost the same as those of the normal people.
The story revolves around the thought on the awareness of death that encourages us to live more intensely. Quite true, isn’t it? The moment we thought death is coming towards us, we decide to live life to the fullest. Irony of life.
Getting Hooked
Filed under: short story | Tags: alexithymic nurse, getting hooked, love story, short story
Leave a Comment JM has a girlfriend, Shine.
Christine has a boyfriend, Jan.
JM is a doctor.
Christine is a nurse.
The both of them are just plain friends. Not even best of friends. It’s just that there are a lot of activities where they end up working together and plus the fact that both of their families are too close to be apart.
They almost knew each other since childbirth and have been friends since then. They are the kind of friends who often doesn’t see each other but when they do, they always end up laughing. They are not the best of friends because they don’t tell secrets to each other, preferring to keep it all to themselves. Loving to tease each other, they are the life of family gatherings.
“You know what?” JM’s aunt said one time, “I always thought the two of you would end up together.”
They looked at each other and burst out laughing, “Uggghhh…” moaned Christine, “The peace of the earth will soon disappear if it will happen.”
JM placed his arms around her shoulders and pulled her close, “Oh Tin, is that your heart going on tachycardic right now? And take note tita, we still have clothes on!”
She elbowed his stomach, “I will never take my clothes off with you.”
“Ouch.” He pretended hurt and clutched his heart. Then he winked and told her, “You’ll never know.”
“The two of you really look very good together.”
Innuendoes started firing every now and then, of course without their partners. Shine and Jan don’t understand that what they have is a relationship with nothing on it. It doesn’t mean that they are joking, they are flirting. They don’t. It is just the way how they treated each other. Old habits are hard to die. After all, why leave each other’s company when they’re not doing anything wrong?
***
Isn’t she lucky? Christine looked at Jan while he was driving his red Adventure car. They have been together for almost two years. Jan never cheated on her, and likewise. He always finds time for her despite their busy schedules. What more can she wish for? That his parents would like me.
The only drawback they have on their relationship – his parents. Okay, they both knew she isn’t Chinese and Jan is a “full-blooded” one. But is that something to worry? Cut the crap, Jan is the eldest, he is expected to marry a Chinese girl.
She hangs on to his love and faith, like what JM said, Who knows? Maybe everything will turn out pretty well at the end of the road and his parents will soon realize that love is more important than traditions.
“I love you, Jan.” He took her hands, held it against his and kissed it softly.
“I love you more, Tin.”
***
“You were looking at her!” Shine burst out.
JM’s brows met, where? He wanted to ask. This is one of the reasons why he doesn’t like going out with Shine. She throws accusations like a pile of thorns and it is not even real! Whereas, if they stay on his or her room, the only thing they get is pleasure. Ultimate pleasure and not fight.
He’s not getting bored. Five years? Or is it six? He couldn’t remember. He couldn’t leave her or else her family will haunt him down and push him into a firing squads. A family of military men – top caliber military men. Will he live for 24 hours after he call it quits? He doubted it. He will just wait for her to be the one to leave him, it will save his ass.
Not that he didn’t love Shine. He still loves her. But he’s not happy anymore. She needed someone to boss around and he needed a girlfriend. A real one. Someone who will love him, take care of him and be there. Someone who will trust him the way he will trust her.
“Can we go home now?” he asked her nonchalantly. He was not in the mood to stroll anymore.
“Why?”
Because I am already pissed off. But he didn’t say that, instead he smiled and told her, “I still have a duty in three hours.” If liars are being burnt in hell, I’m sure I’m already in ashes because of Shine.
***
Christine was grinning from ear to ear when she arrived at the hospital which made his brows arched. What is she so happy about? “Did you just reach, finally, a multiple orgasm?” Jan commented when he entered the nurse’s station.
She rolled her eyes and slapped him lightly on the cheeks, “Yes, and I didn’t get it from you. Thank God!” Christine laughed when his brows formed a straight line already, “No, silly! What’s wrong with being just happy?”
I wish I could be as happy as her. Why can’t I be? “Well… I don’t know. It’s just that you look different. Are you sure you didn’t have sex?”
He knew how prude Christine is. No matter how hot her boyfriend maybe, she wouldn’t do it unless after marriage. That is what he liked about her, she may speak about it freely but her values are intact. He wonders if how intimate could she and Jan get? Uuugghhh…. He shook his head to erase the thoughts. If you are not that prude and we are not friends…
***
“You expect as to be more than friends?” JM wanted to laugh as he put on his white coat.
Gilda, his fellow post graduate intern, was doing the same. They just did it inside the doctor’s lounge. Talk about raging hormones.
“Do you know who my girlfriend is?” he reminded.
“You don’t have to be blunt about it.”
After a great orgasm, here goes the problem with women. Do they really expect if they bed a man, he will fall in love with them? You don’t exchange body fluids for love. It is just out of this world. They are two consenting adults who have human needs that can’t wait. Yes, I am ruled by my id. I have to do something about it before I bed the whole IM department. What’s with the drama?
“I have to Gilda, we are friends. And we should remain that way. Yes, we have a good sex every now and then but it doesn’t mean I will leave my girlfriend for you. I cannot do that.” He told her truthfully. He didn’t want any lies to come between them, after all, they work together. It wouldn’t be healthy. I should’ve thought about it before I lure her to bed.
The next day, Gilda quitted the hospital.
***
Christine placed her cup of coffee in the table where JM was seated. He invited her to have a coffee after duty and she ended up paying for her own.
“I heard Dr. Gilda quitted.” She started, knowing that this guy was one of the major reasons why the lady doctor was running away from the hospital. A lot of talks were roaming around.
“So?” he answered coolly.
“What did you do to her?”
“Nothing!!”
“You are such a pervert!” Irritation rushed through her. She can’t believe this guy! Although she knew for a fact how things work for him. How can he pretend that he had nothing to do with it?
“You know what, Tin?” he started.
“What?”
“Really…”
Her brow was hooked up, “What?” One more what and I am going to throw this coffee at him.
He flashed his most dashing smile that never worked on her, “You look like my 8th girlfriend.”
She mentally counted his girlfriends and stared at him unbelievably, “But you only had seven.”
“Exactly!”
I’m his next victim? Ooohhh… scary. She wanted to laugh out loud. They both knew he can’t touch her. Their families will start a new civil war. “You think you will be married five years from now?” she decided to change the topic.
“Yes?” he answered so unsurely. “That’s near the end of my residency.”
“That’s almost near. A lot of things could happen.” She said while sipping her cup.
He grinned, “Yeah. Like if I see you naked now. It could change everything.”
Christine almost dropped her cup when she heard what he said. Oh God! He sounded so serious. Stop it Tin. This is JM, he’ll do everything to get anyone to bed. She had to get out of his web gracefully. Instead of getting affected, she chose to smile and answer, “Asus, I told you before, you’re the last person I’d kiss more so, to go to bed with.”
But he proved to be the best in the industry when he didn’t falter, “It would be our first and your last.” He laughed.
“Well, if nobody else existed.”
“And all you are going to give me is a kiss?”
“Well, since you are the last one on earth…. I might reconsider going to bed with you.” Christine was laughing. So this is how flirting is. Quite fun.
“And that’s how we’ll populate the world again.”
“Good genes.” She said, “Bring it on.”
JM was laughing as well.
“But I do hope there some laboratories somewhere; I’ll have your blood tested first.” She added seriously.
He did fell for it, she just knew, the moment he frowned, “You are mean.”
She winked and grinned. This is one great day. “No!” Denying the accusation thrown to her instantly, “I just want to stay healthy before I commit my ultimate sin—having to be laid by you.”
“If I am infected then perhaps I will not last until that day.” He rested his head on his palms, “They said sinful things are the most pleasurable and you’re calling that experience ‘ultimate.’ So perhaps it is paired with ultimate pleasure.”
“Bring it on.” She said again.
He looked at her intently and said, “You think I am joking, Christine Gellada?”
***
“Hello…” It is four o’clock in the morning and she is going to kill whoever disturbed her sleep. She was in the middle of a wonderful dream.
“You have a very sexy voice.”
“Gago ka, JM!” she cursed. When did he learn to call her at this kind of hour? If her mom will caught him calling at this hour, he can never step inside their house again.
“Gwapo, not gago.” He corrected. “I can smell you from here…”
“Pervert.”
“You smell like cum. Did you wash?” though his tone was quite serious, she knew it was a joke. However, this was not the proper time for any jokes. Not when she’s half-awake.
“One more and I’ll call your mom.” She warned.
“I passed.” He told her.
It took her a couple of seconds before she digested what he said. She suppressed a shout and finally wide awake she said, “Congratulations, JM!!!”
He laughed on the other side of the line, “So, you want to go grab a bite?”
“I’m not that cheap, you know…” and she won’t go out at this godforsaken hour. Her father will wring her neck.
“I know. You’re a china doll…” the connotation was far more obvious that it intended to be. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow at 3 in the hospital, okay? Wet dreams dear… dream of me.”
“Perve!”
***
They just finished eating in one of the most expensive restaurants in the city. Not nearly a date and the both of them won’t consider it as one. His wallet was almost empty when the waiter gave him the bill, he was half-scared he’d end up washing the dishes after (or doing the manager – who’s gay). He’ll prefer the first one though. Nevertheless, he enjoyed every single moment. They were talking about his exams and his triumph. On his plans now that he was a real doctor and anything at all. They were the noisiest table inside the restaurant.
“You smell good.” JM smiled instantly hearing the compliment from Christine.
“I know. It’s your favorite.”
“Armani white!!” she exclaimed
“Do I smell better than your boyfriend?” he tested.
“Is that a trick question?” He laughed and hugged her, she flinched, “What in the world are you doing?”
“I’ll hug you, so that my scent will transfer to you…”
She tried to break away but his hug was too tight, funny it didn’t feel like she was being harassed or abused. It’s just that — I couldn’t explain. “JM, get off me… I still need to go to Jan’s.”
Like a magic word spoken, he was suddenly 5 meters away, “What will you be doing there?”
“It’s his birthday today, JM.”
“Are you invited?” This was the first time he heard her going to Jan’s place. She was not yet introduced to the parents, yes, the tradition stuff that even he was not really sure of. All he knew was that there is a minute chance that Jan and she will end up together. Poor Tin-tin.
“Yes!” it was on a defensive tone and he understood.
Nevertheless he hugged her snugly and kissed her forehead, something he never did with either of his friends or girlfriends, “Don’t hurt yourself there, okay?”
***
Is this a wise decision to go to Jan’s place and meet his family? Did his family wanted to meet her? Confusion flooded her mind the moment she stepped in into her boyfriend’s gigantic house. Jan held her cold hands tightly as they transferred from one table to the other. She was introduced to every member of the family and was nauseated with their names and the company they are affiliated with. Owner of this and that, member of this and that. She felt she didn’t belong here.
“So you are the girlfriend?” his mother was cold as she expected, inspecting her from toes to the tip of her hair.
“Good evening ma’am.” She greeted politely.
“She’s not Chinese, Jan.”
Her hands held Jan’s more tightly. Wishing he’ll say something to ease whatever unlikely feeling she has right now. “Not now, mama.”
“Here’s my favorite girl!” the older woman exclaimed looking at the door.
When her gaze followed, she wanted to go home when she saw Ria, Jan’s ex-girlfriend coming towards them. As if she was not there, Ria tiptoed and placed a smack on her boyfriend’s lips. She went pale. What the?!
The moment she saw the reaction of his mom, she wanted to vomit. I wanna go home. It was too obvious that she still wanted Ria and Jan to end up together. A merge of two Chinese families, of wealth and tradition.
“Happy birthday, Jan.” Ria greeted, then fixing her eyes on her she said, “Oh, I see you brought her along. Good luck dear.”
I needed that.
Christine asked Jan if she can be excused so that she can go to the lady’s room. The truth is that her urge to escape was too strong that she wanted to call JM. She didn’t know if it was just her or if his family wanted her to feel out of place.
If he can’t bring me home, I’ll catch a cab or call JM. Either way, I am getting out of here.
She returned to the party and tried to look for Jan, only to find him with his cousins and friends.
“So is it really her, cuz?” the petite Chinese girl asked, the one who owned one of the famous food chain in the city if she’s not mistaken.
She halted and remained like a posted sentinel to hear Jan’s reply, “I really don’t know. We all know she’s not one of us.”
His cousins laughed ridiculously. That was all she needed to get herself out of this hell.
***
“Where?” JM was zipping his pants, his mobile phone was clipped between his head and his shoulders. He was trying to find his shirt. Where in the world is my shirt? When he finally found it on Shine’s desk, he put it on. The next one is his car keys. “Stay there and don’t leave, okay? I’ll be there.”
“Where are you going?” Shine has nothing but a towel on. “You can’t go!”
He released an exasperated air out, “Yes, I can. Tin-tin called up and no one will pick her up. It’s almost two in the morning. I can’t let her ride a cab.”
“Yes, you can!”
“No, Shine. I am going to get her.” He was losing his patience with his girlfriend. Can’t she think logically for even a second? His friend needed him.
“When I said no, I mean it.” It was a threat. A strong one.
JM didn’t really care if her family would put his life in peril right now. All he wanted to do was to pick up his friend and bring her home, “I thought you’re a smart girl, Shine. Hear this, I am going to say this just once.” He said in a low, well-modulated voice, “I am going to get her whatever you say. I’ll be back after and bang you until tomorrow. I am not asking for your permission. She is my responsibility.” Now that was not true. No one made Christine my responsibility. I just want to.
Before Shine could open her mouth he rushed towards the door and towards his car and accelerated it.
***
Christine’s eyes were puffy, “You look terrible.” He commented when he arrived at the 24-hour coffee shop.
“Did you just have sex?” she threw him an accusing look.
“I am a healthy human being with healthy needs.” He reasoned out. “What happened, Tin-tin?” he was more concerned about what transpire at Jan’s place rather than his sexcapade.
She told him what happened, “It was just terrible hearing it from him. It was okay if it came from his mom or the rest of his cousins. But he said it.”
“So what if you are not one of them. If he really loves you, he wouldn’t give a damn about it. Tradition is a lame reason for a guy to get rid of a girl.” Then, he looked at her seriously, “Do you have the inkling that by the end of your relationship he will have to choose? And his choice may not be you?”
She nodded sadly, “I was hoping it will not come to that.”
“But it is now. So what’re your plans?”
“What do you think?” Christine asked him.
If this was any ordinary day he would’ve laughed and throw a punch for a stupid question asked, “Do you want to continue your relationship with Jan?”
“We don’t have a future.”
Finally, an insight.
***
“You didn’t say goodbye. Mama was surprised.” The next evening Jan went to their house with a bunch of chocolates on his hands. She was a sucker for caffeine inside a chocolate bar, but even her favorite Hershey won’t give her the comfort she needed.
Christine sat in front of him with shoulders shrugged, “Nobody wanted me there.”
“That’s not true!” he disagreed immediately.
“I heard you talking to your cousins. You told them that you are not sure if I will be in your future.” She told him calmly and retorted, “Because for chrissake— I am not Chinese!”
“Tin-tin —“
“I never wanted you to choose between me and your family. I don’t even want to hear your choice.” She was on the edge of her seat, not wanting to break a tear in front of this guy as what JM advised yesterday. “It’s devastating. I love you Jan. But we both know this will end up both ways. And because I love you, I am letting you go.”
Jan’s face fell, she saw how much he wanted to take her into his arms but she was cautious. She had to do this or else it will just delay everything. A complete waste of time. “Don’t do this, Tin.” He beseeched. “Give me more time.”
“How much do you love me, Jan?” she challenged.
“I love you so much.” He replied immediately with ardor.
“Enough to fight for me?” When he didn’t speak up, she knew what the answer was. It was like a rush of valium in her system, too incapacitating. “Then this is goodbye.”
***
JM was whistling a happy tune when he parked his car outside Christine’s house. However, the moment he entered the gate, a familiar face brought him to a halt.
“What are you doing here?” Jan instantly asked.
He wanted to knock his head off for making his friend cry, “I am a family friend and I have a free access here.” JM just reminded him.
“Stop seeing her.”
“I’m not doing her any harm.” he replied defensively. Why should he do that? Tin-tin still wanted his company and as long as she wanted him to stay, he will. She needed a friend right now.
“She is my girlfriend.”
“You should’ve thought of it before you made her cry.” He wasn’t bad enough to slap him a rude rebuttal. She didn’t break up with him yet? Does she want me to do it for her?
***
The both of them were inside his car. Christine was half-asleep from her duty and he was driving and singing to himself. He made it his task to take her home and pick her up when her duty hours are way beyond safe zone. Jan was already off limits to their house. Christopher, Christine’s father, was too angry for him to step inside the house without being (probably) shot.
He slowly stopped his car in front of their gate. Not wanting to wake her up, JM stared at her for a couple of seconds. Damn hormones. She looked so peaceful, so innocent. So untouchable, so please JM, keep your hands off her. Yet, he can’t. He took his seatbelts off and moved closer.
JM traced her face with his palms, his heart kept on beating rapidly, more faster and he’s going to get a heart attack. It was when Christine opened her eyes. “What are you doing, JM?” she whispered.
“I want to kiss you.” He replied in low voice, “Just say stop and I will.”
He cupped her chin and moved his face closer to hers. He waited for her to say the word but he didn’t hear it. In a mili-second, he placed a soft, chaste kiss on her lips. They kissed and the world didn’t even move.
***
JM is in love with her.
JM is in love with Christine.
BIG PROBLEM.
***
Why do guys do that?
Kiss and run away like crazy little kids caught by their mom snooping around the kitchen. JM didn’t show up after the stunt he pulled two nights ago in his car. Christine can’t believe she let him kissed her. She liked the way he did kiss her. But remembering how good he is with girls, she frowned. Was he toying with her? He was, wasn’t he? Because if not, he would be brave enough to face her right now and tell her what the heck is going on.
“I haven’t seen JM these past few days. Did the two of you fight?” her dad asked.
He kissed me, tay! She wanted to tell her father, but decided to stop herself. “No.” she answered curtly, wishing thoughtfully that her father would just drop the subject.
Her thoughts had been filled with that short, uncorrupted (if such thing exists with JM) kiss they shared on his car. It made her stomach distend with colorful butterflies.
Shit.
Am I in love with him?
No!!!!
***
At last, JM knew what to do. After days of hibernating in his room, he is filled with renewed energy that needed to be wasted before it goes away. His itinerary for today had been carefully laid down.
“I want to leave your daughter but I don’t want to die.” JM’s palms were sweating but he stood still. One more day with Shine and he’ll end up in a psychiatric ward. He didn’t want to end in a memorial park either. So with all his guts grouped together, he went to see Shine’s father.
Shine’s father, Colonel Felizarta, was just staring at him blankly. He was sitting straight behind a wide mahogany table in his uniform that was well decorated with medals.
A couple more minutes of that stare and he would have needed an ambulance to the hospital, “Sir?”
“Do you know how brave you are coming here right now?” he said.
Yes. I am trying to hold the urge to micturate in my pants right now, sir. So please get on with your decision.
He stood up from his table and went near him, “I admire you for it. But don’t ask me permission if you want to leave Shine. You tell her. It is your relationship and whatever you do with it is your business. She is not my little girl anymore. Where did you get the idea I will have you assassinated when you leave her?” he was almost laughing.
From her.
***
“Shine, I don’t love you anymore.” JM explained. She’s a smart girl. Why can’t she digest what I just said?
She frowned, “I will tell daddy —-“
“I just told him.”
Her jaws dropped in surprise. “You did?”
He smiled triumphantly, “Yes, I did.” Yet, when he saw the tears that were about to fall from her eyes, he hugged her, “Shine, it is not healthy for the both of us to stay in this relationship. You make me miserable and I make you miserable as well. If we push this further, we are going to loose our minds.” He wanted to make her understand these things to avoid more complications. They may not part ways as best of friends, but at least he won’t make an enemy.
“Am I not good enough?”
Oh you’re so good in bed. He wanted to console but now was not the time to say that. He needed to finish this business before he can go on with his life, and this time a reformed life. If he wanted Tin-tin, his acts of lasciviousness should definitely disappear from the face of the earth. “I didn’t say that you are not. But Shine, this relationship has been on the rocks for years. Sex isn’t enough to save it. Save yourself some pride, Shine. You’re beautiful, sexy, rich and smart. Let me go.”
She released herself from his embrace and kissed him fast on the lips, “But promise me when friends asked who broke up with who — I broke up with you, okay?”
“With pleasure.” Some pride this girl has.
***
“Can I have breakfast there?” Mr. Sandman rushed off from the top of her head hearing the voice. How long has it been? Three weeks and two days. Now he’s back again?
“Go away, JM!”
“You don’t miss me?” JM asked sweetly, as if nothing happened at all.
Gago talaga. “You know what time is it?” she asked tetchily.
“You’re so cranky.” He noticed, “Either you have your period or you just miss me.”
Christine decided to answer his question before she compel to the strong persuasion inside her brain to put the phone down, “You cannot have breakfast here, JM.”
“Why not? I’m going to send Manang Juling there.” He was talking about their cook who can make the best ox tongue she ever tasted (second to her mom).
“Breakfast is too early here. Hindi ka na nahiya. You’ll be disturbing people early in the morning!”
“Okay, lunch then. I’ll send Manang Juling to the market and buy ingredients for the ox tongue, then I’ll take my lunch there.”
She resigned, knowing this guy, she wouldn’t win a single battle when he’s too eager to win it, “Whatever.”
“I miss you, Tin.”
She fell silent for a while. How can you tell me you miss me when you don’t show up after you smooch me in your car?
“I know I have a lot of explaining to do. We will have time for that, meanwhile, sleep and dream of me.”
In a jiffy, all she heard was the dial tone. Christine lay awake till the crack of dawn.
***
“What is Manang Juling doing here?” Christopher asked Christine when he found the old lady on their kitchen. True to his word, he sent their cook to her house at ten in the morning, complete with the necessary ingredient to cook her favorite menu.
She smiled at her dad and explained, “She’s cooking ox tongue for me.”
“Did JM send her?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Why?” her father was quite curious with what the younger man was up to.
“Tay, he’s going to join us for lunch.” She informed.
“He is?”
Christine nodded gently. She didn’t want to appear excited in front of her father. It will feed him different information. “Is there any problem, tay?”
“I’m just a little worried, Tin. Anyway we are not sure yet. We’ll have to see, won’t we?”
She was almost sure what her father was afraid of.
She was scared for herself as well.
***
Another joyride around town was scheduled after the lunch. JM asked permission from
Christine’s father if he’ll allow them. He told her he’d be taking her home late. Actually, he didn’t know where to take her, all he knew is that he wanted her alone.
So, they just drove around until his gas went almost empty. Eventually, he decided to take her to his house. They were on his favorite spot, in the gazebo at the middle of the garden. They were sitting on two opposite sides.
“We broke up.” He managed to tell her.
She threw him an unbelievable glance at him, “And you are still alive?”
“Just don’t believe whatever gossip you heard around. Anything bad came from her.” JM reminded. He really didn’t care whatever lies Shine will spread. As long as Christine knew what the truth was.
“It is what you get from breaking hearts.”
I’m not going to break yours. He wanted to say but didn’t know how to sound truthful that it wouldn’t foster doubt once it escaped his lips.
“I can still smell you from here.” She said.
He laughed softly and offered, “You just want me to hug you until my scent clung on you?”
This was the only time in his life where he regretted all his escapades and his womanizing stints. How is he going to tell this girl what he felt without sounding like she was ‘one’ of them? “Can I kiss you again?” before he could stop himself from asking, the words were out of his mouth already.
“If I say ‘no’?”
“I will just have to step away and pretended it wasn’t asked.”
Then tentatively, she asked once again, “And if I say ‘yes’?”
He smiled, stood up from his place and approached her slowly, “That would just be wonderful.” He went in between her legs and placed his arms on each side of her legs and bent over for a kiss. It was supposed to be a short one but when his lips touched hers, magic erupted from every corner.
He kissed her hungrily and fiercely that almost made her whole body turned jelly. She put her arms over her shoulders for support. This is different. Far more different experience than what she and Jan had. It was more —- passionate and feisty. Like a fire being ignited over and over again. Soon his arms didn’t settle on her face, it moved down to her neck and down to her breast. She heard herself moan she he started to touch it. “Damn it, Tin! Tell me to stop.” He ordered between his kisses. But instead of telling him to stop, she reached for his nape and kissed him. His hands found the end of her shirt and she felt his cold hands cautiously move. His lips traced the arch of her jaw down to her neck, leaving a small bite along the way.
***
Christine felt the cold breeze. The moment she opened her eyes, she saw him staring at her with his eyes filled with complete desperation, “I’m sorry.” He told her.
Her eyes widened with surprise, “What did you just say?”
“It’s not what I meant, Tin.”
“You were sorry you kissed me?” More than angry, she was ashamed of herself for reaching that point with him, now she’s just one of those girls.
He shook his head fiercely, “No! I shouldn’t be doing this with you!”
Her face turned crimson, “Now that is complimenting!” She pushed her way passed him and fixed her shirt, “Take me home.”
“Tin, I can’t take you home when you are mad.”
“I am mad but you have to take me home!” she demanded. For the first time since her break up with Jan, she wanted to just curl up in bed and cry herself to sleep. This was the lowest, the lowest she ever got herself into. “If you won’t, I’ll call tatay to pick me up.”
She didn’t leave him any choice.
***
CONFIRMED.
Christine is in love with JM.
Her world peace fell apart. Darn.
***
Christine hid herself behind the wall adjacent to the living room where JM was sitting. He was wearing a long-sleeved polo and black slacks – not to mention a pair of black shoes. Where did he come from? A doctor’s convention?
“Please tell him, I am not here.” She pleaded to the maid.
The old woman threw her a confusing look, “Ummm… He’s not looking for you, Tin-tin.”
“He’s not?” She replied dumbly.
“He asked for your father.”
It was her turn to get confused, tatay? Why?
***
“I want to court your Christine, Tito Chris.” JM saw how Christopher’s features tensed when he delivered his speech.
This was scarier than JM’s meeting with the colonel. Christine had not been speaking to him since the gazebo incident. He didn’t mean it that way. He wanted to court her formally before he kissed her, but things happened too fast. She didn’t deserve to just be ‘one’ of his girls. He wanted her to be his last. And she will be once her father agrees.
“Did I hear you right, JM?”
He nodded, “Yes.”
“You want to court my daughter?” he reiterated his word with emphasis, as if digesting every syllable. “I know you, JM. I know how you are with women.”
JM smiled politely, “If you know me well enough, Tito, I wouldn’t be here in front of you asking your permission.”
“How sure I am you wouldn’t hurt her? You are such a womanizer.”
This is your fault he can’t trust you. Now, deal with it. “You can kill me if I make her cry.” And he meant it.
Christopher fell silent for a moment and contemplated on his words, “Do you love her?”
“Yes. I love Tin-tin, Tito. I will do anything for her. I am sure I have changed and I will not look for anyone because everything I need, everything I wanted is her.”
“You have my blessings.” He finally stated. “But I am hanging on to your word. I will wring your neck if you make her cry.”
“Okay, tay!”
***
“I can’t believe you proposed to tatay first!” Christine didn’t know if she should be irritated or get excited when she heard the conversation between his father and JM. At least she knew what is going on now.
He grinned, “At least, he will help me convince you.”
“Convince me what?”
He turned pale and speechless. Something he was not accustomed to. “Tin!” he complained.
She smiled widely, “You were too brave in front of tatay. Now tell me what you told him!”
“But you heard it already.” JM reasoned out.
“You make tatay your girlfriend then.” She was about to walk out when he grabbed her arms and pulled her close.
“I can’t make him my girlfriend.” He consoled smoothly, “Ang bilis mo namang magtampo.”
“So?” She impatiently waited, “Tagal.”
“I love you Tin-tin. Will you be my girlfriend?”
“We’ll have sex?” Christine asked him timidly.
“Is that all you want from me?”
She laughed and hugged him once more, “Gago ka talaga.”
“Gwapo, Tin.” He corrected. “Now the answer to my question?”
“I love you, JM. Yes, I will be your girlfriend.”
*end*
